Your personality can be changed in this lifetime, you can attain the highest rung of life, a state free from pain and misery. Don't postpone this, as you postpone the other joys of your life. Enlightenment is your birthright; that state is freedom from pain and misery. Enlightenment is not something acquired or new-it is already there within. You can realize that state. Learn to work with yourself to remove the barriers to your growth. Learn to transform your habits and thus purify and perfect your personality. This is your challenge-to transform your own personality!
When you do something unconsciously, it means that your habit pattern is very deep and you are not aware of it. When you do things unconsciously it means that you accept a kind of helplessness in that area, and when you have accepted defeat in working with yourself then you secretly condemn yourself, and then, when someone else says something you resent, you become outraged and offended.
For this, sit down and observe what you are thinking. You actually already know; you really know all your weaknesses and actually you are busy hiding them.
It is mind that creates hell and heaven for you. These two concepts exist in the mind. Heaven is a concept of tranquility; hell is a concept of great distress. it is the mind that creates both. You have glorious opportunities to create heaven for yourself.
Perhaps you are not happy with some event from past; perhaps you expected too much of yourself. Then you condemn yourself by thinking that you have not done enough, and you constantly repeat the thought that your past actions were not healthy or good. Thus, you have created a habit of condemning yourself, which created negativity in your mind. But the present and future actions are still completely in your hands, and that is where you should focus your mind.
You have the power to change the destiny of your life. You have the power to change your personality. You have the power to mold the entire stream of your life, to give a new direction to your life. There is one difficulty in doing this, however, and direction to your habit patterns. Your personality is a particular character, woven by your habit patterns but how are your habits themselves formed? Your habits are formed because you have repeated some action or thought again and again. Thus, it becomes a habit. Then, you unconsciously do it; eventually, it is a full-fledged habit. When you understand that all your habits are formed by the simple process of repeating some action or thoughts again and again, then you can learn another process, that of undoing and changing your habits.